Wow, its been soo long since I've updated anything. damn.
School things have completely taken over, I'm loosing my creativity. So just as a quick update recent things aree...
- VP at school for next year, hellz yes.
- Going to India in March for a month.. humanitarian stuff
- Everything is good with my Dad
- Haven't spoken to my mom since December.. (and surprisingly fine with it)
- Braces off
- Hair has been... red,pink, light brown, black and is now dark brown
- Nose pierced

and yeah.. then there is him. Expect this to be a long one buddies.

I don't get why it is still an issue, i liked him, he liked me, he stopped.
He's beneath me, hes younger.. i know i can do better, but i can't help it. I need to stop relying so much on others, i need some confidence in myself or something. All I want to do is walk up to him and hit him, and cry. Tell him hes an idiot, that he just lost me. Tell him that I can't stand the fact that we haven't spoken in person in 3 weeks, ask him if i deserve better than that. In this fantasy he would tell me that hes an idiot, that he doesn't even deserve to stand on the ground i walk on. Or at least tell me hes sorry. I would tell him it is too late and he would tell me that he would do whatever it takes to show me he was sorry. He would appologize for ignoring me in the hallway, for acting like we didn't even know eachother. He would say he was sorry for telling me i wouldn't understand the issues he was going through, because he knows now that I would.

And theres two ways that i want to go from there (in my fantasy of course) I would tell him that I didn't need his appology. I just needed him.
Or I would realize that hes an ass, and tell him to fuck off.

One or the other.